Indonesia is definitely one of the most exotic countries to be sent to. It sounds like jungle green islands, white beaches and warm tropical weather. Pictures of colorful fruits, yummy Asian meals, and friendly people flash up. However, real life in the big economic centers like Jakarta or Surabaya looks quite differently. Especially for those who accompany business expats: The expat spouses.
As I lived in Jakarta years ago, I honestly struggled. I lived in a big fancy house with the pool I had ever dreamt of – but felt isolated there. The nearby streets were so crowded, that it was no fun to walk around. No chance to get in touch with neighbors. The traffic jam in that I spent hours every day tried my patience and destroyed my day´s schedule. Finding friends wasn´t easy and keeping up with them in that unimaginable big city another topic. All these experiences had little to do with what I imagined as I arrived in this tropical country.
So it is no surprise that such an exotic country with dream-like nature like Indonesia only ranks 32 (of 64) on Internation´s list of Top Expat Destinations in 2015. Expat life in Indonesia usually doesn´t happen close to these picturesque places but in the big cities. Life there indeed keeps a lot of challenges ready that can be summarized to the top 3:
- Environment
- Socialization
- Culture
Not uncommonly give these reason for frustration and let expat spouses like my friend Rosa frankly admit, “I don´t like living in this country!” But isn´t it a pity that she and so many others resign to their fate and let go from the initial dream of living an exciting expat life just because of their metropolis environment? Yes, it is.
So, this is my message to Rosa and all other expat spouses:
Howsoever different than your expectations your life might be, it is never too late to use your chance of living abroad and learn about life, a new culture, and yourself.
Get started with my 6 TIPS about how you can cope with your everyday challenges and turn your time in Indonesia into a fascinating experience.
1. Get connected to the country
…which means explore your environment! If you live in Jakarta – for example – start with visiting places of interest.
Drive up the national monument (Monas) and have a glance from above at the Big Durian city.
Go the old Sunda Kelapa harbor and get a taste of South East Asian traditional sea trade.
Explore the footsteps of the Dutch colonials over a coffee at the historic Café Batavia.
Immerse yourself in the place that has become your temporary home.
The more you understand about your environment, the more you will be connected to it. Being “grounded” to the place where you live makes it much easier for you to deal with any kind of stress, not least because it gives you a feeling of satisfaction and inner calmness.
2. Find fellows
Socialization is most important for all humans on this planet. Studies have shown that being with family and friends is valued as the top reason for happiness. Your family and friends back home are far away, so find new ones! Many new expats find it convenient to connect with people of similar nationality or cultural background. And since you don´t have office mates to socialize (because lacking of having an office-life), you can catch up with fellows at these groups:
Join a coffee morning at the British Women´s Association.
Catch up with people from Australia and New Zealand.
Go to one of the regularly Die Brücke mornings of the Germans.
Just to mention a few…
Not to forget the worldwide expat network Internations that comes up with a plenty of gatherings and events every single week… Not only in Jakarta, but also in Surabaya, Bali and Jogja.
3. Find local friends
Having friends among fellow expats is great because you share the same faith of living as a foreigner in Indonesia. Although I really like hanging out with other expats, however, I always feel like being in a parallel world. Finding friends among locals connects you most authentically to Indonesia. Be prepared: You will get in touch with totally different ways of building up a friendship and caring for it but this will definitely open your mind for a millions of life issues. And you´ll probably find friends for a lifetime. This leads me to the next so-important tip…
4. Learn about culture
Yes, learn about the world in that the locals next to you live in.
Try to understand how they see the things around. And how they see you.
Figure out their values of life.
Learn to communicate with them. Understand what different gestures and face expressions mean.
Try to see the world through their lenses.
For that you need to leave your expat home and plunge into Indonesian everyday life. This often means also leaving your comfort zone. Be sure, you´ll be paid back by great insights into a different culture. To get that experience in a more convenient way you can join my program Cultural Retreat Jogja. To learn more about it and to register just click this link.
5. Take care of yourself
Living in a different culture pulls out energy from your personal battery.
A lot.
Especially in the beginning of your expatriation.
And no matter if you are aware of that.
(Read here about how Energy Thieves drain your physical and mental strength).
Unconsciously, your mind is busy with understanding and adjusting to the (new) environment 24 hours a day. During that time you face many stressful situations. Take care of yourself and develop ways to work off stress – ideally by creating your personal Expat Self-Care Program. You need to be in balance. May it be workout, yoga or meditation, important is to do it regularly. By the way, these activities give you the chance to socialize, no matter if with other expats or locals…
6. Live healthy
Ever sneezed into a white tissue at the end of a long day in a big Indonesian city? Well, don´t be surprised if it´s color changes to a shade of grey. Indonesian cities, no matter if Jakarta, Medan or Jogja are – let´s say – dusty. Ecologists call this dust “fine particular air pollution” which means that invisible little particles of dirt fly around the air that we breathe. Allergy sufferers know what I´m talking about. This dirt can cause quite a few illnesses such as airway and cardiovascular diseases. Support your body in it´s natural detox process and reduce (or stop) smoking and pay attention to a high-fiber diet. Needless to say that workout strengthens your immune system, which also has a positive impact on your mental health (see point 5)…
I could continue my little top-6 list for some more tips but I think you´ve got a good overview for today. Just give it a try and let me know how they worked by leaving a comment below.
…and this comes from my heart: Be inspired by the fascination of living in a different culture. Use this chance and learn about people, cultures, yourself – about life.
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